Now I will talk about FALSE SELF

What is the false self?

First, let's examine the opposite: the authentic self. The authentic self is the core of whom you really are, not what people tell you you should be or the "you" defined by people who do not really know you: the doubters, critics, and others who see the part of you that you choose to show. It's the you that you talk about to the people and know you best and whom you trust to be careful with your vulnerabilities.

What is the purpose of the false self?

This mask, which the narcissist thinks is real, hides the insecure and damaged part of the NP and chases way feelings of depression, abandonment, and shame. It protects her from painful feelings. Affirmations of the false self keep the mask in good repair. If they're not forthcoming, she demands them in one way or another in the ways that make the relationship a wild ride on a rollercoaster (which no one understands besides other people who have a loved one with NPD). The NP's success in maintaining this illusion makes you continually doubt yourself since you rarely receive validation of what you are going through. Even mental health professionals miss the boat. (Remember, you didn't want to believe it either.)

Sam Vaknin, narcissist and the author of Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited, says, "The false self serves as a decoy, it attracts the fire. It is a proxy for the true self. It is tough as nails and can absorb any amount of pain, hurt and negative emotions. By inventing it, the child develops immunity to the indifference, manipulation, sadism, smothering, or exploitation--in short: to the abuse--inflicted on him by his parents (or by other primary objects in his life). It is a cloak, protecting him, rendering him invisible and omnipotent at the same time. [The narcissist]  thinks, "I am this false self. Therefore, I deserve a better, painless, more considerate treatment." The false self, thus, is a contraption intended to alter other people's behaviour and attitude towards the narcissist.

The problem with the false self

It takes a lot of work to keep the fragile, superficial mask in good enough shape to protect against what NPs see as "attacks" from the outside world, e.g., complaints about their self-absorbed ways--especially those from formerly preminum sources of supply like spouses and children. This destroys the illusion and might force the NP to take a closer look at themselves. That's why they protect the mask so aggressively in ways that make you continually doubt yourself. It's extremely painful to have your feelings rebuffed by someone whom you feel/felt so much love for.

Also, life is dominated by doing, achievement, and performance rather than on intimate connections with others. This is one reason why you see so many narcissists at high levels in organizations or in careers in which they get a lot of attention such as politics, entertainment, and the ministry. The job perk of being important and lauded is irresistible.

ok!!!, You see, It's important that you know yourself very well.

In the next post, I Will talk about some damages that *false self* cause in your behavior

Discovering the reality of our worlds

So, our inner world is our mind, feelings, and others things. Our mind is so big, you can imagine a lot of things. Our feelings are somethings that you can´t stop feeling because that is something that you feel without thinking of it for example related to love you might say: ¨I can take the control of it¨but that is a lie because it is a big feeling which you feel for someone or something such as animals, things, etc. You see, feelings are so great and big that you can´t take the control of them. Also, in our mind you can find and discover things that you will say: ¨OMG!! This is me¨ because there you will find how you are, your personality, and others things. Your inner world is the most influence by some things or factors that depend on our outer world causing problems. Outer world is a little bit bigger but it has things that create or thins that were there already. So, the world where we live , now it is being destroyed because we can´t take care of it. Nowadays, our world has a lot of bad things for example, violence, vandalism, bad illness (created by human) but that is our blame because we didn´t care about our world when it was sound.

Our world can influence our inner world causing problems for example: If someone is physically ill-threat? maybe he or she can have psychological problems.

I will give you a areal example where factors of our outer world makes that our inner world can´t develop in a good way and we have some problems.

Marvin, 26 years old.

He grew up having an alcoholic father and his mother. His father was always hitting his mother when he was a child. He would always see that and when he was in seventh grade his father tried to hit him. He coundn´t  stand his father  and he grew up like that, with pain, seeing ill- threat , feelings suppressed, etc. Now, he has child and he followed the step of his father, so that, he can´t raise very well his child because he didn´t have a good example when he was a child and he is acting the same way.

 In conclusion his outer world affect him on his inner world causing problems in his life for example how he is going to raise his child.

Advices:

• Our mistakes in the past, Dont´t affect our future.

•  Look for helping.

• Talk with yours relatives, maybe they can help you.

• Always leave our problems to God.